Was Alcohol Involved?

The answer to that question is, YES. But not in the way you may think.

Let me explain. It was Canada Day. The day started like most of my days had in these last two weeks in Fernie. A later than expected rise, some breakfast and then on the bike. On the agenda today was an easy, but up hill ride to Island Lake.

A couple of kilometers on the highway, then peddled the rest uphill on a dirt road through Mount Fernie Provincial Park campgrounds. Scampering in front of my wheel on more than one occasion were some suicidal hares. Plus, squirrels may be smaller in BC than in ON, but they sound like friggin bears. Making me jump outta my tree. Anyway, I got to the lake. Found a great spot and curled up on a muskoka chair soaking up the sun and reading.

I thought the lake looked beautiful and pristine. I was later corrected of my ignorance and told that it is an ecological horror story, with oxygen being pumped into it. Oh well. Still looked great, with the white capped mountains all around and 800 year old cedars and so much green vegetation. I took a quick stroll around the lake before heading back for the day.

As I road up 13th Avenue to my Fernie home I witnessed the Canada Day Festivities going strong. Well, strong for Fernie, I suppose. The school yard had a East Coast band playing and an inflatable dump trunk for the kids. Why in the West Coast they choose to have Newfoundland music playing. Hmmm.

Needless to say, having passed the festivities I wasn’t all that keen to get to them once I was back at the bungalow. However, I knew there at least would be firecrackers so I psyched myself up for that.

First a shower and a snack would be hit the spot.

All clean and ready to snack I turned on the stove top and poured a little oil in the bottom of the pot. I was going to make popcorn. Mexican style with lime and salt.

Here comes the alcohol.

As the pot got warm….very, very warm. Yup, you can see what’s coming.

I remembered that I had bought a local beer earlier in the week and thought it would go great with the popcorn. I pulled the beer out of the fridge and read the funny label that had enticed me to buy it. What the Huck. Huckleberry beer. Sooo, funny. I laughed, shook my head and thought I have to take a picture. My picture taking was interrupted by a huge Boom!. I turned, startled to see two foot flames shooting out of the pot on the stove. OMG! I had totally forgot about the oil.

I ran to the stove. Contorted my arm around the flames turning off the burn and grabbing the pot. As I held the flaming pot, I wondered, “What the Huck, now?”

I had enough sense to remember that it was oil I was dealing with so I didn’t throw it the sink and start the cold water tap. Thank goodness. However, I did blow on it. Which just made it go down and then come back with even more vigor. It’s no wonder I still have my eyebrows. By this point, both fire alarms were blaring and my eardrums were going to start bleeding. Out the door! Yeah, that seems right. I quick stepped it to the screen door, but couldn’t get my arm around the flames…Yes, that’s right, it was still flaming, to open the door. Not being able to hold this pot anymore I placed on the synthetic, rubber rug in front of the door. I need a lid. If no oxygen, no flame. I remembered something from my Bachelor of Science degree. Mom, would be proud.

Phew! Lid on. I picked up the pot, opened the screen door and stepped forward towards the door. Stepping on the synthetic, rubber rug in the exact place where the flaming pot had been seconds before. The pain was instant. I placed the pot as quickly as I could outside and hopped on one foot to the bathroom sink. Fire alarms still blaring and now me hollowing along with them.

A chunk of something fell into my hand as the first flow of ice cold water hit the bottom of my foot. At first I thought it was part of my foot, but it was only the melted rug.

Now I sit, popcornless, cursing an unopened bottle of What the Huck?

I called the hospital, but since it didn’t break skin, thank goodness, they said they can’t do much. She kind of laughed and said “It will hurt all night. Take some pain killers and stick in cold water.”

Called the mountain bike course guide, since my mountain bike course starts tomorrow. I hope I can ride, if I can’t walk. Of all the bad timing.

Of course I skyped my mother. Who although very concerned, seems kind of relieved. As if this may prevent me from biking and doing even more damage. 🙂

I pull the foot out the water every once in a while, but the pain is so excruciating I have to place it back in only after a few seconds. The blister just gets bigger and bigger. How can it sill be burning?

I really don’t know how burn victims do it. This must be the worst pain in the world.

Okay, that’s it. I’m taking the foot out for good. It’s getting all prunie. That can’t be good. I have an aleve in me. Here goes…wince, wince, wince, breath, breath, deeper breath…I’m going pass out. Okay, okay, okay. Phew. I think it’s good. Hobble off to bed.

Addendum: I burst the blister the next day. Wrapped it up and was able to walk on it, with only a slight limp. Riding wasn’t so bad since I use clipless and the clipless are on the ball of the foot that was not burnt. The pot got cleaned and I replaced the rug. No other damage to the house.


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